Fizah End of Summer Collection

End of Summer Collection

I was pregnant with Daniel in 2019 and gave birth during the pandemic. It was one of the hardest moments I have experienced in my life so far. Just as no one could have prepared the world for a pandemic, I too, was not prepared for a labour amidst pandemic regulations. It was a traumatising experience for me. I suffered from post-partum depression that comes with PTSD and had difficulty bonding with Daniel. It was as if rainclouds were over my head all the time, gloomy, dark and no sunshine.

I painted this painting from a different place than who I was back then post-labour. I am seeking help to help me overcome my birth trauma. I am not 100% of whom I used to be and maybe I will never go back to becoming her but that's ok. I am accepting that change with grace. The love which I couldn't express back then for my son finally found its way out from within me. I can't help but marvel at this tiny human being and feel a tremendous outpour of love for him. He ran around the field soaking up the last remnants of sunshine before the seasons change. He stopped running and painted his little painting next to me. I smiled at him while putting the finishing strokes to this painting.

The sunflower is known for resembling the sun, bright and radiates positivity. However, it's now heading towards autumn and the flowers are starting to wilt. It is still there facing the sun but soon it will rest until it's time to bloom again. The sunflowers and I aren't dissimilar, just as how it accepts that the season is changing and it must rest and say goodbye to the sun, I too, have accepted the change that has happened and will inevitably come as one goes through the courses of life. I am not where I hoped to be yet but for now, I am at peace. 

The One Strong

The Final Send Off

''Goodbye Summer''

Mixed medie on large watercolour canvas, 100 x 150 cm

Sonneblumen Kunst Erlangen

The Muted Nines

Process of the Collection

Goodbye Summer

I wish I could tell you in person the story of my process. But photos tell you more of the stories.

It was hard to say goodbye to summer. it was my best Summer since after giving birth to my first son. Motherhood is already hard and with pandemic it was just *there is just not enough unnice word to use here. 

Summer this year gave me euphoric feeling with him. He is just a joy to be around with. I wished I could have liked him from early on but I only felt strong love towards my own  baby after a year almost.

......

This moment was wonderful. Something I would want to remember.

Saying Goodbye to Summer
Saying Goodbye to Summer

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Details
Details

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Painting the largest painting ever
Painting the largest painting ever

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Saying Goodbye to Summer
Saying Goodbye to Summer

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